Episode 1 - Women Cheat Too: Why It’s Time to Talk About the Betrayer’s Story

By: Judith Nisenson

Certified Betrayal Trauma Coach

Judith lays out what this podcast is here to do: get real about why women betray, what it costs, and how to begin the process of healing without hiding from the truth. Whether your betrayal was physical, emotional, or somewhere in between, this is a space for honesty, compassion, and growth.

Let’s start with a truth that makes some people uncomfortable: women cheat too.

We talk plenty about men cheating. We talk about their lies, their betrayals, and the devastation they cause. But there’s a whole side of partner betrayal that barely gets acknowledged, the side where the woman is the betrayer.

That silence leaves a lot of women sitting in their pain, unsure if they even have the right to grieve because they were the one who crossed the line. If that’s you, I want you to know you’re not alone.

This Isn’t About Excuses

Being the betrayer doesn’t erase your pain, but it also doesn’t erase your responsibility. This isn’t about blaming someone else or finding ways to sidestep the truth. It’s about looking honestly at what happened, sitting in that reality for a moment, and then slowly figuring out how to stand back up.

The world has a lot of names for women who cheat, selfish, manipulative, cold, broken. I’ve heard them all. But labels don’t tell the whole story. You are a whole person, with a history and with wounds that might have been buried so deep you didn’t even know they were still alive until everything fell apart.

Why We Need This Conversation

On this podcast and in my work, we talk about the parts of betrayal that rarely see the light.

We explore why women cheat, how it happens, what it costs, and what real healing looks like when you’re the one who caused the hurt. That includes talking about guilt, shame, defensiveness, and the moments you wish you could disappear.

It also means talking about what your partner might be feeling, how they’re reacting, and why. We’ll dig into what true accountability looks like, and what it doesn’t. We’ll connect the dots between betrayal and deeper issues like childhood wounds, identity loss, disconnection, and self-abandonment.

The Hard Truth About Healing

Healing starts with honesty. Not the kind that tries to soften the edges, but the kind that owns what happened and stays present with it.

You’re allowed to heal. You’re allowed to grow. You’re allowed to grieve. But you can’t do that by pretending it didn’t happen, or by rushing past the pain. Honesty isn’t about perfection, it’s about finally telling the truth about who you are, what you’ve done, and who you want to become.

I work with women every day who feel crushed by guilt and shame, unsure how to show up differently. Many ask, “Why did I do this? This isn’t me. I’m not a bad person.” And that’s where the real work begins.

You’re not a bad person. But you made a choice that hurt someone and hurt yourself. That’s the truth we start from.

Moving Forward Without Hiding

Whether your betrayal was physical, emotional, or somewhere in between… whether your partner knows or not… whether you’re still together or separated… if you’re willing to look at yourself and grow, there’s a place for you here.

This isn’t about coddling or condemning. It’s about walking with you through the wreckage, asking the questions that matter, and helping you stop hiding so you can start healing.

You’re not the only one. You’re not unforgivable. And you’re not stuck forever. You’re allowed to feel regret, confusion, numbness, anger, or shame. What you’re not allowed to do, if you want to heal, is disappear into that shame and pretend this isn’t your life.

The more we tell the truth about what really happened, the more space we make for growth and change.

So, take a deep breath. You’ve found the right place.

All material provided in this blog is for informational purposes only. Direct consultation of a qualified provider should be sought for any specific questions or issues. Use of this material in no way constitutes professional services or advice.